Week 24 - Kicks & Viability

   Finally at week 24 we felt the baby kick!!!!!  This is amazing and exciting and just down right awesome news.  Most folks feel the baby starting around week 15 so we are 2 months late to the party.  Both of my placentas attached in the front so we weren't quite sure we would get to the feel the baby.  Actually Ryan always felt we would but I was never sure.  Anyways on Friday I woke up to about 5 clear as day kicks, I guess the baby got up before me :)  I couldn't wait to text Ryan and tell him the good news.  When Ryan came home, he put his ear to my stomach and about 30 seconds later, the baby kicked and it physically made Ryan's head jump a bit.  It was amazing.  I am so glad we both got to feel this on the same day.   Since then, like clockwork, our baby kicks every morning and every night when I lay down.

   Week 24 is the viability week.  It means that if for some reason, I gave birth today, our baby would have a good chance of surviving.  It would still be in the NICU and wouldn't be good, we are really only talking about basic survivability, but it's still great news to make it here.  3 months ago, I couldn't even imagine getting this far.  Hitting this milestone the same week we finally felt kicks has been a huge accomplishment for us.


   Mentally and emotionally we still have lots of issues we are working through and will still continue with weekly therapy appointments.  Since I can now feel the baby on a daily basis we are going to try and go longer than ever week to our OB check appointments, but nothing crazy, instead of every week we are going to go every 1 1/2 weeks and see if we are comfortable in doing so.  Our doctor is leaving the decision up to us and if 10 days seems too long, we will move back to weekly appointments.  For now though, it's really starting to feel real for the very first time and hopefully that turns into some comfort on our end.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Week 22 - Cardiology Appt

what a strong heart we have!

  Today was our much anticipated cardiology appointment. I am extremely happy to report that Baby A has a perfectly formed heart with no defects. This was a huge relief and the best news we could have received.  Our little fighter keeps on fighting and proving what a strong heart they have.
  Our echo was upstairs and it's always hard for me to go up there.  It's where we found out about Baby B and where we went back two days later and reduced the pregnancy.  We have discussed this with our therapist and she has likened it to PTSD.  Anyways about 10 minutes into the procedure I got light headed and briefly felt like I was going to faint.  Luckily she let me turn on my side, raised the bed and Ryan took my shoes off.  I calmed down and was able to continue and complete the procedure.
  After it was over, we went and met with our doctor to go over the results and game plan the next few months.  Prior to our results, we were placed in a category all its own, I don't think there is a name for above high risk, but now with our good news, we are back to a regular category of just regular high risk.  This means that the rest of our appointments are the same as any other high risk pregnancy, we don't have to do any more crazy testing.  At this point, if we were in a normal risk pregnancy, we would have monthly appointments, but I am not at all ready for that, especially since due to my placenta placement, I'm cant feel the baby's kick yet.  Luckily our doctor is amazing and understanding and is letting me continue with weekly ultrasounds and heartbeat checks.  I said once I can feel the baby maybe I'll feel more comfortable going every two weeks, but we will see.  He also wants us to have monthly anatomy scans upstairs so we will continue with that as well.  Then starting at 32 weeks we go twice a week to the hospital for monitoring.
  The hardest part is still the emotional side of all of this now and what we focus on in therapy.  I am having a really difficult time still accepting and welcoming this pregnancy.  Our therapist says I put up walls as protection for myself.  Losing a child was just beyond painful, it's like I'm trying to not get too attached in case anything goes wrong.  Our doctor started talking about child birth and the future and I got very uncomfortable.  I told him my issues and how I was feeling.  Again he is so kind and said he understood,  Then he started talking statistics and viability.  He said if I went into labor today that we would have a low chance of survival, but if I went into labor in two weeks we would have 30% and in four weeks 70% and 5 weeks 90%.  He went over everything and said at this point we really need to anticipate bringing a baby home.  When he started talking about birthing classes again I got uncomfortable.  he gave me the name of a nurse that does private lessons in your home.  The idea of that sounds much better.  It's hard for me to be around 'regular' pregnant people, every time they introduce themselves, its super difficult.  Its still hard for me to hear about unplanned pregnancies or people bitching about morning sickness and classifying their pregnancy as horrible because of that.  We shall see how we both feel about things as we start to settle in with this new information.  One day at a time is all we can do.  But for now, we can celebrate this huge milestone and be happy, even if the anxiety quickly crept back in, it was still an amazing day with great news!

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER